He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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