What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
