Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
