Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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