I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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