So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
