I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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