i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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