hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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