Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
