i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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