Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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