Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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