I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
