I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize