if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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