Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
