Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
