Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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