Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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