Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I will die if light touches me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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