WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
