Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your penis caused this!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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