That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize