sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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