you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
