im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
