ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
