so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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