Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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