How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
