my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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