He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
