Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
