when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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