Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize