I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
