Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my shit smells like andre
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
