I'm eating all of the evidence.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
