i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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