Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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