this just has baby written all over it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
