I seem to have left my pride at pride
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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