it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
