found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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