my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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