So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
