What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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