I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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