I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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