Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
