just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
