and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
