Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
