I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
