6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
