So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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