Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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